You might think I’m obsessed with Bill Simmons. You might not be wrong. In a cage filled with weakling bloggers (myself included), he’s the 800-lb. gorilla.
But that’s exactly why I get so disappointed. My latest round of discontent stems from his recent minor feud with Keith Olbermann, Charley Pierce, and others based largely on silly comments in his Feb. 26 chat.
Basically, Simmons offered a ludicrous opinion about Tiger Woods’ fascinating comeback, comparing the golfer’s difficult road back to status quo alongside Muhammad Ali’s political and military struggles. At best, this is a leap. At worst, it’s nutty Woods puffery. Simmons was roundly castigated by Drew and Craggs almost immediately. But that’s it, right? Who really cares?
We all say dumb stuff. We all make ludicrous assertions in print. For an example, read almost any Jason Whitlock piece. He bases his whole persona on your aghast reactions. For that matter, on Monday at Mister Faded Glory, I’ll unleash an unprovoked assault on Keurig coffee makers. MY OPINION WILL NOT BE IGNORED.
My point is that it’s a throwaway opinion, and wrong or not, it all would have been forgotten. But it wasn’t. Either fueled by scoffs from KSK or Deadspin — or unbelievably aggravated at chatters who disagreed — Simmons attempted in Friday’s column to prove his inane chat comment was actually airtight. Go ahead, read it. I’ll wait.
You’re right. It’s ridiculous. (It even reads like he’s been spending too much time with BFF Jason Whitlock.) His basic premise: Tiger faces a more difficult road to acceptance than Ali. Absurd, painful, and basically boiling down to “more media coverage” equals “tougher time for Tiger.” Snore. (Personally, I cringed at the part where he claimed Ali could “retreat and draw strength from the burgeoning civil rights movement.”) The whole exercise was tenuous at best and totally counter-intuitive at worst. And Simmons’ wounded ego also hinted he might not do chats again. The horror of minor disagreements! (Awww….).
But the column brought out the wolves, detailed nicely by TBL’s Duffy. Longtime foil Pierce chastised Bill, and eager curmudgeon Keith Olbermann piled on. (Which sparked a barrage from Bill on Twitter.)
But I’m left to wonder: Was Bill really that tormented by the scoff at his chat opinion? Did he really toss and turn, furrowing his brow well into the night, wondering what in the world could he do to counter the snickers of KSK and Deadspin? I mean, really? How did he eat?
Or …
This is a symptom of a larger ESPN problem, isn’t it?
Think about it. Think about all the times you’ve read or watched a Worldwide Leader ‘head or scribe first anticipate the counter-reaction to an impending point before he or she actually makes the point. Have you ever listened to Colin Cowherd? “Now, I know what the bloggers will say…”
Mike Tirico is another example, particularly when he’s filling time in golf, or bursting pauses on Monday Night Football. So certain is he of the importance of his point, he will first address the potential backlash before actually delivering his opinion.
Even Scott Van Pelt and Ryen Russillo, largely approved by sports bloggers, are no strangers to stating the counter to their premise. Which, if you think about it, is insulting. As an audience, we don’t need to be spoonfed. As a mediaite, you can’t always worry about the arguers. Someone is always going to argue. When you elevate their impending disagreement, your credibility and authenticity is savaged. Get your premise out, and deal with the fallout. Normally this is how the cerebral sort out their opinions.
Instead, however, the ESPN populace worries first about disapproval. It’s why Tirico admonishes anyone before they can disagree. And it’s why Bill frantically dashed off his awful column on Friday, hemming and hawing and woefully mounting a defense that wasn’t necessary at all. It’s why his casual statement has turned into the latest chance for the Old Guard to bash him. Worse yet, he’s unnecessarily succumbed to a disgusting ESPN trend.
And at the close of this exercise, that’s the worst fallout for one of ESPN’s most popular and provocative voices.
Because you know what happens when you go around watching whatever you say all the time.
You’ll never get much said. Bill included.
