Here we are: Coltsplosion 2010. The Super Bowl.

This is going to ramble a bit. I’ll pause while you shake off your shock.

Let's get this thing started, huh?

First, I’m loathe to even churn out a Super Bowl Preview. Yeah, I’m a rational, content fan – unlike most humps – but I detest the interminable two weeks between the conference title games and the Super Bowl. I especially detest the weeklong buildup toward the game, featuring Media Day and Radio Row and the ongoing circle jerk among boring media talking heads and NFL has-beens.

Which is why I want to make special mention of the Tony Kornheiser Radio Show. You already know my unabashed love for the TK Show knows no bounds, but the cantankerous one was at his best all week, eviscerating Super Bowl media coverage. Besides a shout-out to Clear Lake, Iowa (Home town of Mister Faded Glory!) on the Day the Music Died, Tony spent the better part of each day decrying boneheaded athletes and Radio Row. I can’t do it justice, but it was phenomenal.

And, since Bob Sanders will not play in this year’s Super Bowl (and perhaps has played his last game as a Colt), we bring you this line from the inimitable Black Heart Gold Pants, celebrating his brilliance as a Hawkeye:

One, he’s Bob fucking Sanders and his play in the Aughts can really never be praised enough.  He set the tone for not just Iowa’s defense but the entire Iowa program while he was here — and even after he was gone.  In some ways, Bob is the quintessential Iowa player under Ferentz: talented kid who fell through the recruiting cracks for one reason or another but who emerged as a superior performer (in Bob’s case, good enough to not only be All-Big Ten but also NFL Defensive Player of the Year …  Bob was a beast at Iowa and I consider myself privileged to have been able to watch him play.

Amen. I had season tickets to Kinnick in 2001 and 2002 and wouldn’t trade a minute of those games, watching Bob Sanders fly around the field like a maniac. I’m sad he isn’t playing, but weirdly, I’m actually proud that this incarnation of the Colts is able to succeed without him. Onto the preview:

So here we are. If I take a step back as fan, I can hardly fathom that the Indianapolis Colts have transformed from all flash, no substance, frantic aerial comebacks, and white-knuckle defensive stands into an ultraprofessional, calm and collected juggernaut.

Have they?

I don’t know. I’m not usually this melancholy, but after a tantalizingly-close perfect season, we’re watching our heroes in blue with eyes on history more than usual.

I’ll watch because of the machinelike efficiency the Colts displayed all season long. Fret about a string of fourth-quarter comebacks if you like – but the 49ers game never felt out of reach, they had a 20-0 lead on the Texans before “coming back,” and the Thursday night contest against the Jaguars was a back-and-forth rivalry game. They may take the lead in fourth quarters, but it’s usually early, and usually to stay. The Patriots game was a furious comeback, granted. Just wanted to mention it. Coming back once is an event. Taking the lead in every single fourth quarter is a trend.

And I’ll watch because I’ve led the charge to spitefully root for Peyton Manning – I loathed his chicken dance in the early decade, and frowned whenever the Steelers, Patriots and Chargers out-guessed and out-deked him. I exulted when the Colts won the 2006 NFL Title, behind Sanders, Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai – almost in spite of MVP Manning. But now the worm has turned. Marvin Harrison is gone. Edgerrin James is gone. Even Bob Sanders is gone.

And Peyton’s there. And he’s better than ever. He’s relaxed, on top of his game – the absolute consummate professional, his methods and demeanor reverberating throughout the team. If we’re historically rating quarterbacks, he’s got to be in the Top 5, and I wouldn’t shudder if you rated him No. 1. Since titles apparently matter more than actual statistics (I could go either way – I tend to think Marino and Elway are 1-2 in some order), his second title would distance him from a crowded field (Favre, Warner, Young), and at least give him the winner’s cache of Brady, Bradshaw, and especially Montana.

But watching the rest of the team fill out – as Bob Kravitz puts it, become the ‘Atlanta Braves of football’ – has been a treat. Because I want the Colts to be the Atlanta Braves of football. I want them in the Final Four each year. I want to tune in on Sundays, knowing they’ll find a way to win, and if not, they’ll correct everything by the next week’s kickoff. The playoffs are always a crapshoot – the notion of two No. 1 seeds in the title game almost hopelessly quaint. You’ve got to get to the door every year in order to break it down every so often.

(Holy shit, that was a clumsy sentence. MOVING ON.)

That’s the Colts. They know how to win. I can trust them. I can finally trust Peyton. I trust future Hall of Famers Jeff Saturday and Reggie Wayne. I can finally trust the defense – they’re actually talented, fast and disciplined. I’m thrilled with Clint Session, Freeney and Mathis, Raheem Brock, Gary Brackett (who knew), the miraculous finds of Jake Lacey and Jerraud Powers (sadly out for the Super Bowl) and Melvin Bullitt. Of course, I can’t leave out Antoine Bethea – finally a deserved Pro Bowler, and on the short list of Best Safeties in the NFL. That’s right. Name three who are better, and don’t include Sanders. Polamalu? Reed? Anyone else?

The Saints, however, replicate the Colts’ Achilles Heel. With a multifaceted offense, they can keep the Colts off-guard. As fast as they pursue, Indianapolis still struggles against offenses who put their running backs in space or unusual formations. You know what you’ll get with the Colts’ deense – they’ll take away one thing you do well, and force you to do the other. (Patriots = Run with Maroney. Ravens = throw with Flacco.) With the Saints, I don’t know what that is. I don’t know what option the Colts choose to take away.

And the Colts’ offense can bog down – we’ve seen it happen with the Chargers, we saw it happen early in games against the Jets and Ravens. Against the Saints, they won’t have the luxury of taking a few 3-and-outs to survey the landscape. They’ll have to light up the scoreboard early. Granted, they aren’t exactly facing the Monsters of the Midway – but the pressure of perfect offensive execution is a lot to bear. It killed the Colts back when they had three Hall of Famers as the triplets.

I’m also concerned about the chalk – everyone’s picking the Colts. Eerily reminiscent of the 1997 Super Bowl, when everyone assumed Brett Favre’s Packers would walk over John Elway’s Broncos; or the 2008 Super Bowl, when the hated Patriots succumbed to the Giants; a Saints win isn’t tough to foresee.

But also, only three short years have passed since the Colts drubbed the Saints in the 2007 season opener. That 2007 Colts team was the best of the decade – unluckily choking a regular-season game against the Patriots and losing a nailbiter to the rival Chargers in the playoffs. And the Saints have a better defense now, but has Jabari Greer really narrowed the 31-point margin that much?

In addition, everyone’s talking up Gregg Williams’ defense this week – the boastful dickhead coordinator promised his units would smack around Manning like they did the 40-year-old Favre.

But excuse me, the Saints gave up more than 300 yards to 40-year-old Favre. The Saints defense has maybe three non-replacement players: Will Smith, Jabari Greer, Jon Vilma. Not to mention the Saints allowed 28 points to the Vikings offense – which, stop me if you’ve heard this – also had six fucking turnovers plaguing their loss. And this just in, the Colts offense is markedly better than the Vikings, so likening the Saints to the Monsters of the Midway is just a wee bit inaccurate.

But anything can happen. I have absolutely no doubt that they can win this thing, and that they’ll be ready for whatever the Saints throw at them. Even more proudly, I have no doubt they’ll approach the game more professionally, prepared and polished than their foes. No matter the circumstance, you won’t be able to count them out. In short, the Super Bowl lights ain’t too bright for the Colts.

Who dat? Well, it’s not you.

Here’s to a good game, and let’s go Colts. We’ll talk Sunday night.