Mister Faded Glory | www.misterfadedglory.com

I know, I know, I owe us all, probably. Who knows, maybe I’m ecstatic at the Cardinals meltdown or the sublime dismissal of TEAM NON GRATA, making the playoffs somewhat (OK, much) more bearable.

Also possible is that my incessant listens to Unthought Known and Amongst the Waves relax my mood and hinting at hopeful futures. cascading peaks and impeccable lyrics perfectly nestle into my brain,

Or perhaps I’ve even found a unique peace, having just turned 32. Not a young age, not an old age. Still, I remember, as a child, thinking 32 was a super-cool age. Boy, when I get big and grown up and 32, I’ll be able to do whatever I want.

This was probably a result of repeatedly watching Remington Steele along with my mom as a kid, and quietly wondering how old the suave Mr. Steele was. She always said, “Probably 32,” and I just assumed I’d turn out as debonair with Mr. Steele, pouring myself into a tuxedo, cruising through California in a roadster, relaxing in my fantastic pad, replete with vintage movie posters, minimalist furniture, and on-cue fireplace. Of course, I would possess the  effortless abilities to recall movie themes on cue and unknowingly sweep women off their feet.

So glad some things turn out as planned.

Regardless, we do enough bitching and moaning around here to fill two blogs (or seven Twitter feeds), but we never do enough shout-outs. First up is Andy Dolan’s post at Desipio, also linked above, written shortly after the St. Louis demise of 2009.

Far be it for us woebegone Cub fans to overlook the bad karma from cheering at another team’s schadenfreude, but, you know what? The Cardinals deserved it. Andy explains why:

But for a franchise that has enjoyed success on the field, their fans have always been oddly obsessed with the Cubs.  On some level, I’m sure it’s because of the inferiority complex that St. Louis feels towards Chicago and that Missouri feels towards the rest of the world.  When your state is best remembered for being the northernmost advocate of slavery during the Civil War, of being the last state in the union to require school children wear to shoes and for using Mountain Dew as toothpaste, you’re going to need to cling to something to make yourself feel better about

Amen, brother. Worry about yourselves, Cardinal fans. We’re nothing. Step outside of the trailer and roll an extra-fat ditchweed spliff to get yourselves through the offseason. Hint: It will be long.

We also bash Bill Simmons so much that it’s incumbent to point out when he’s right. You might remember us repeatedly eviscerating Simmons for his Michael Jordan hero worship. Friday, he was not quite as starstruck:

Here’s what amazed me: Some people defended the speech! Like, writers whom I respect! Really, you’re defending an off-the-cuff, uncomfortable, petty, biting, rambling, vindictive, score-settling speech during what’s meant to be nothing more than a celebration? That was a good thing?

Jordan’s original thesis was incorrect: Other than when he got cut in high school, EVERYONE believed in him … No athlete was coddled more than Jordan, and no athlete had a bigger disparity between “public image” and “what he was actually like.” Hell, for his entire career, Sam Smith was the only journalist with the testicular fortitude to call him out….

He wasn’t a great guy by any stretch, just a bloodthirsty competitor who cared only about ruining everything in his path. That’s it. That’s what fueled him. At the time, we glorified him for that one quality because we love that stuff. How many times did you hear MJ gushingly described by an announcer as a “killer” over the years? A hundred? A thousand? …

Much appreciated, Bill. Simmons also isn’t kind to our favorite friend Brett Favre in this mailbag, but just as correct. In interest of space, we urge you to check it out.

And finally, The Daily Show rips on CNN, and we “leave it there.”