Mister Faded Glory | www.misterfadedglory.com

You’re wondering how quickly I’m yanking out tufts of my hair – beyond annoyed at the excruciating behavior of the Cubs.

While in Dallas, I neglected to watch the Cubs, who apparently forgot how to hit immediately after Rich Harden’s weird Sunday meltdown against the Astros. Regardless, they’ve been absolutely owned by the Cardinals this season.

I still know not what to think about this team; it’s not as though they played awful against the Cardinals, the pitching has been great. The bats, however, are atrocious. I’m pretty sure the Cubs are now being played off the field by Keyboard Cat. (Thank you, Deadspin.)

In addition, it’s not as though Busch Stadium is the Cubs’ favorite place, nor as if the pitching match-ups were in our favor. Joel Pineiro already has dominated us effortlessly 2009, Cris Carpenter made a holier-than-thou return on Wednesday (Carpenter – neck and neck with Tedy Bruschi for biggest douche in sports history.), and Adam Wainwright toys with us each and every start. Hey, another CG! Fantastic..

However, without Aramis, enduring a Soriano cooldown, watching Derrek Lee age in dog years, seeing Fontenot exposed, Soto prove to be a mirage, and Milton Bradley’s struggles Boggling the mind – the season still doesn’t feel quite right, as we’ve said. As others have said. At any rate, I’m done bitching, I still think they’ll wind up atop this crappy division. If they don’t hit, they won’t win.

How’s that for a triumphant return? Rocket science, I know. But that’s what you get here, at our big-league Cubs blog (If you’re looking for detailed minor league Cubs analysis, however, check out TCR. Those guys can’t wait for 2013!).