Mister Faded Glory | www.misterfadedglory.com

The Oscars? So totally yesterday. Sean Salisbury canned? So totally five seconds ago. Nope, here at Mister Faded Glory, we’re working up to a big finish to the year in college basketball – finally ready to cast aside the bonds of winter, The Wire, and numerous other responsibilities before immersing ourselves in hoops. Which is fairly sad, because back when we starred at basketball in high school, we got excited about Bracketology in freaking October. But what can you do.

But before our annual likes-and-dislikes tournament stock watch, we’re dabbling in pro basketball. Because, you know, according to large corporate behemoth Web entities scarfing up the best NBA minds, the league is back! (What are we supposed to do? Talk Spring Training? Tell you that Diablo Cody went to Iowa?) It’s back, and largely because of a litany of one-sided trades that supposedly stacked each conference. So we’re told. Anyway, here’s our quick judgments to each trade, in chronological order, nearly too late to be worthwhile.

• Pau Gasol to the Lakers for a handshake. At first I thought Jerry West was working undercover for the Lakers during his stint as GM of Les Griz. Instead, I learned he’s gone (Who knew?) and it’s the former Celtics GM – Chris “Vin Baker at any price” Wallace running the show. (Yes, I learned this from Simmons. Shut up.) For the Lakers, this was a great trade. Fantastic. Not many teams are able to rebuild this quickly and this effectively. For the Grizzlies – seriously, how does Javaris Crittenton help a squad with Mike Conley and Kyle Lowry? (Also of note. I’m a big fan of Hakim Warrick and Rudy Gay. So trade them, Chris!)

• Shaquille O’Neal to the Suns for Shawn Marion et. al. The zeitgeist on this one was astounding. At first the reaction ranged from: WTF are the Suns doing?! into the lukewarm endorsements of You know, Marion was a jerk and Shaq can be rejuvenated, and this could work. Shaq is a 36-year-old big man about ready to fall down a well, blah, blah, Marion is a 29-year-old malcontent, blah blah. Well, I’m still in the first camp. I think this was stupid and reactionary, and I think the Suns took a backseat to the Lakers with this very trade. Marion was the lone Sun with any hope of offering some sort of defensive presence, and I can’t rationalize trading away your best player (There, I said it) and only defensive player for someone who’s washed up. Call me crazy. If they missed Kurt Thomas that badly (like everyone said), he was available. (Shipped to the Spurs for a pick.) And that was the team a suspension away from going to the finals. Now, they’re much more than a suspension away.

• Jason Kidd to the Mavericks for anything not nailed down. I don’t get this one, I really don’t. Sure, Kidd is OK, sure, he can kind of help, and sure, the Mavericks look shellshocked after their haunting finals loss in 2006 and upset to the Warriors in 2007. But honestly, they just got older, just got worse defensively, and maybe tacked a win or two onto a team destined to finish sixth in conference. And shelled out a boatload of picks, and traded away promising Devin Harris, and couldn’t unload the contracts they were trying to jettison in the first place. I understand the need to win-now with a current roster, but they’re not all that old, and, well, they’re not going to win now. Secondly, at what point is Avery Johnson accountable for this mess? Maybe I’m alone here, but virtually no media criticize a coach who was figuratively depantsed in his last two playoff series and now apparently can’t motivate a talent-laden roster to win during the regular season. Not saying he’s the problem, or the lack of solution, but he doesn’t deserve the free pass.

• Mike Bibby to the Hawks. I like this move. Atlanta didn’t give up much, and they’re inching closer to relevance with some fairly good players. I’ve always liked Bibby as a player, he’s got ice water in his veins and can play the passing point if he has to, but also can score. If only the Hawks hadn’t selected Marvin Williams that one year. Over Chris Paul, no less. Woof.

• Lebron gets a whole new team. Sure, they may have landed the best players in this deal – but the deal was chock full of crappy players. I guess Larry Hughes‘ exodus is addition by subtraction, but quite honestly, who knows? And I can’t quite bring myself to care.