With little fanfare

… our Indianapolis Colts sleptwalked through a win over the Raiders and clinched a first-round bye, the No. 2 seed, another division title, and three weeks to get everyone healthy – namely Robert Mathis, Raheem Brock, Antoine Bethea, Ryan Diem, and Tony Ugoh; and maybe Marvin Harrison. With any luck, we’ll return from a post-novel-completion sojourn to Mexico just in time for Colts-Patriots X: For all the Marbles or whatever, in the AFC Championship game. Should happen, but we’re not proclaiming anything yet. Pressed facing a Steelers-Browns matchup; or Jags-Chargers, I’d actually much rather be the Colts. We’ll talk more in a month, you know, after all those exciting bowls!

With much fanfare, the evil Patriots moved one step closer to an undefeated regular season. Also, the world’s premier assmunch, Tom Brady, whom ranks Nos. 1 through 5 on my “People I’d like to bludgeon with a shovel” list,  killed my 12-1 fantasy football team in the semifinals of the playoffs courtesy of his horrid game vs. the Jets. Thanks, dickhead. Still, we’re okay with all the Patsies’ hype – nothing could top defeating the world-anointed “Greatest-Team-Since-Sliced-Bread” , er, one-dimensional thugs, in the playoffs after they’ve already been anointed as champs. But that’s far away. (And sorry for violating my tenet of mentioning a fantasy team in my column. I must be a mouth-breather after all. Will punch myself in the face, don’t worry. AND that’s what I get for employing Tom Brady. Some sort of deal with the devil, I guess. Or foreshadowing? I’m babbling.)

We’ve got some personal stuff going on around the holidays, so bear with us if you don’t receive any more updates, even until 2008. We’re also planning on finishing the novel, four months too late, maybe four years too late, but it will be done, and we’ll be shopping for agents. Anyway, you’ll have to wait for any Cubs evaluation (Short list: K-Fuk, good, Prior, bad, Matsui, good, Wood, fine, Jones/Rowand, thank heavens no, and Brian Roberts – who the heck cares.) until after the Christmas/Kwanzaa/Whatever break.

Till then, all the best.