Don’t even think about reaching me … I won’t be home.
PJ, Footsteps.
We’re taking this week off from the blog. Before you leap from your desk chair, hurl your Chee-tos, and claim we took last week off, well, let’s just say Las Vegas does not merit a weeklong stay. I’m sure it does if you’re suicidal or a gambler, but if you’re not into tossing your money away, well, consider – all the hotel-casinos do is funnel you into their lair. The TVs have about four channels, the room service menu consists of a bread sandwich, the internet connection is basically a dial-up, costing 700 dollars a minute, the PPV movies are forgettable, the remote barely works, the vending machine has seven Pepsis and one Aquafina, the window hasn’t been washed and the porn is scrambled. Even if you’re not a hermit like MFG, it’s pretty crappy.
And we don’t want to judge gamblers, it’s just not our thing. However, occasionally someone like us has to travel with an uber-gambler, usually the person who traverses to Vegas on any and all vacations, and claims themselves an expert at Blackjack, preferring to withdraw several hundred dollars in cash and toss chips at less frivolous friends, urging them to bet and play and play and bet. And this is annoying. We alcoholics don’t force teetotalers to do shots of Jager while debating the merits of Red Stripe and Tuborg. So, gamblers, if you’re traveling with someone who’s poor and who can’t part with hundreds of dollars at a time, please, shut the hell up.
Anyway, more traveling this week, back to the homeland and, as a bonus, what you won’t see here:
- Soliloquy, motivation, or petty bitching about the Colts’ hard times.
- Teeth-gnashing over The Border War – Kansas vs. Missouri in one of two yearly “Battle Between Undergrad U’s MFG should have considered.” (The other is Iowa vs. Northwestern.)
- Griping about Tom Brady or his hooded friend. You know, the prick.
- A step-by-step recap of Iowa’s failed football season.
- A movie review of Dustin Hoffman’s Magical Emporium and Fantastorium or whatever the fuck.
- A Christmas list practically begging for a guitar.
- Diary of a weekend filled with raking leaves. Riveting.
- The unabridged history of Franklin the Cat (official Cat of MFG.)
- A review and approval stamp of Kevin Nealon‘s comedy (We saw, met, and enjoyed him in Vegas.)
- Anything about Thanksgiving. Like how it’s so blasted early this year, and back in May, when I scheduled a 7:30 a.m. dentist checkup on Monday, I assumed that was the three-day week before Thanksgiving. Instead, it comes on the heels of my trip to the blustery tundra and I’ll have to be painfully awake before getting drilled.
- Cheap sex jokes at Ms. Faded Glory‘s expense. Like (see above), on Monday morning I won’t be the only one getting drilled. (This all sounded funnier in my head.)
- Praise of Syracuse’s new basketball uniforms. First the nickname changed. Then the horrid football hire. Now the Cuse looks like a D-League team.
- Links.
- More gloating about the Cleveland Browns’ success.
- Anything else. Hey, also, it’s Christmas soon. Off to stick my head in the oven. Back next week.
