If I’ve learned one thing in a week of hopeless corporate drudgery – OK, I actually wouldn’t call it learning something – if there was one thing that I took away from a terrifying, time-wasting, motivational self-improvement seminar spanning more than 40 hours over two days, it was this:
“It won’t happen unless you say it will happen.”
Yep, that’s it. If you ever need a intensive seminar costing tens of thousands of dollars for your workplace, and want it to be as simplistic and insulting as possible, I’ve got a referral to make. ANYWAY, I figured, maybe tonight, there’s something to that notion. And maybe, actually, if Dolan can be positive, so can I. Maybe, time spent at this seminar will pay off after all. Maybe I didn’t lose a fucking hour of my life when the seminar moderator showed a clip of Jerry Maguire, the schmaltzy, overwrought, “You had me at hello” scene, trying to teach us to share more at work.
So, anyway, here it is. Here’s my lesson, applied fully. Thank you, last week:
The Cubs will win tonight. And clinch tonight. It will happen, tonight.
There. Now go do it.
(And seriously, how do I need to share more? I’ve got this blog. If I shared more at work, everyone would know I hate everything. I mean, you guys do.)
