Mister Faded Glory | misterfadedglory.com

“This is a critical time for us. This is the time when people on the outside will start pointing fingers. As a team we need to stay together and guys just need to do their jobs a little bit better across the board and all three phases of the game.”

Peyton Manning, Colts Quarterback.

I’m not even going to discuss it. The Houston Texans. Ron Dayne. David Carr. A terrible, moribund franchise. First win against the Colts. Tons of rushing yards. No Bob Sanders.

A step forward, a step back. They’re in the playoffs — but they sure can’t afford a letdown game like today’s ever again. Thanks for showing up, Colts. Seriously.

Hey, everybody! It’s the 2006 Indianapolis Colts! They’ve shown up for the season!

Actually, last night’s win over a very good Cincinnati team was a must for the Colts. Even though they had already clinched the division with schizo Jacksonville losing on Sunday, the Colts needed to affirm their superiority to the rest of the AFC. With an inspired defensive performance, and a dominant offensive performance, the Colts served notice – not necessarily to the league, but to their fans, and moreover, to themselves.

Truth be told, in the incessantly week-to-week NFL, there are few constants, certainties, or indisputable facts. After the Jax loss, reading media up and down the country, you would have thought the Colts were finished. The reality, in the NFL, is that things are never as bad as they look, or as good as they look. Each team has one frustrating (or more) game per season – and the Colts simply ran into a Jags team that had been waiting, licking their chops to get back at Indy for three seasons. Well, they got theirs. And, predictably, last week, they got theirs again.
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It’s been a little sparse here at Mister Faded Glory, and for that I apologize. (I’m sure, however, you didn’t notice. Thank you for that.)

Though the Xmas-Chanukah-Ramadan-Kwanzaa-whatever holiday season certainly isn’t my favorite time of year, that certainly doesn’t make the season any less busy with shopping, work stuff, in-law stuff, family stuff, and simple, rushed efforts.

So, I guess all I’m trying to do is officially admonish Mister Faded Glory – but without promising more frequent updates. Now that’s off my chest, and we have a couple earth-shattering sports developments to catch up on.

Cubs sign Jason Marquis.
Sigh. Actually, I’m not too upset by this – shocker, I know – but I’ll evaluate the Cubs’ offseason after the year turns over. You’ll get your fill.

Allen Iverson? Now a Nugget.
Wow. Rarely are our prayers answered.
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I’m not going to even begin to discuss the Cub-like lunacy of announcing to the world, mid-season, that your team is trading its once-in-a-lifetime icon because you can’t find a place for him to play anymore. Not going to discuss the ramifications — the inexplicable devaluing of your investment and trade market for a once-in-a-generation superstar who never misses a game, and never gives anything but full effort. Not going to discuss that, because our friend Bill is fully succinct on the point.

What we are going to quickly discuss is the frontrunners in the AI sweepstakes! (Seriously, they couldn’t find a suitor for him in the offseason? They really thought this Philly club might work? Sheesh.)

You might remember Mister Faded Glory’s NBA team is (now) the Denver Nuggets, solely because of Carmelo Anthony. (Although we strongly endorse the Memphis Grizzlies and sudden all-star Hakim Warrick.) Well, if the Nuggs’ land Iverson — in a move Mr. Faded Glory fully endorses — then look out. We’ll love the Nuggets. Love ‘em. Because of his athleticism, individuality, and effort, we’ve always admired AI from afar (even for a G’Town guy).

For him to begin play 500 miles away? In Denver? For our team? Cripes, I may turn this into an NBA blog. (OK, no.) I’m just sayin.’ This move transforms Denver totally. Western Conference also-ran? Try Western Conference favorite. And with the Colts‘ implosion, the Hawkeyes‘ meltdown, the Orange’s inexperience, and the Cubs — well, being the Cubs — we might just be able to stomach sports again.

Doesn’t it feel like 2002? The season in which the Colts were alternately flashy, awful on defense, and actually easy to stop because Edgerrin James was hurt.

Now, however, it’s the same story. No Sanders, Reagor, and Thornton. No Dallas Clark. No offensive continuity. And the Colts are going to qualify for the playoffs, but they’re a disaster waiting to happen. They looked awful against a physical, determined team today (NY Giants, circa 2002), and maybe they won’t run into a buzzsaw like they did in 2002/3 – NY Jets, 41-0 — but the inability to stop the run and the propensity for three-and-outs sure suggests it.

Regardless, they’re not that far away from the AFC’s elite, when healthy, and two of their last three losses – against Dallas, against Tennessee (seriously, if Dungy goes for it at the Tennessee 1 last week in the fourth quarter, I’m not ready to slit my wrists today) were extremely winnable games.

It’s more adversity than we’ve been used to, over the last few years. But, perhaps the best thing for the Colts was an ass-kicking. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And we’ll just see where exactly we fit in.

Ugh.

I’ve defended every single misstep the Colts defense has taken this year. I’ve cautioned their offense, and I’ve never jumped ship.

But this team cannot win the Super Bowl with a defense like they’ve shown against Jacksonville today. Within the last ten minutes, the Jags have put up 24 points. They had 251 rushing yards in the first half. And the Colts have no answers — they can’t tackle on defense, they can’t stop the run, they rush too far upfield to have a shot against draw plays, and they’re in serious trouble. They may not win the division.

The good news is that there are numerous chances to rebound — this team still has the talent to compete with anyone, they still have the talent to compete today. You knew one of these years that Jax would get the Colts at their place. You knew at least once that the trash-talking, mistake-making Jags would gear up and put it all together against their rivals. And we knew the gap was closing.

But make no mistake – it’s almost crystal clear now. Indy’s window was open last year. Period. It’s about to slam shut. This defense may still be good enough to secure a first-round bye — but they are not good enough to allow a struggling offense the chance to constantly catch up.

It’s been fun. Lots of good wins, lots of hard losses. Lots of injuries, lots of frustration. There’s still hope, of course — rarely has a Colts team been faced with this on-field adversity – and because of their leadership, they should be able to mentally rebound.

But it’s not that they peaked too early, or can’t quite mesh — it’s clear that they just weren’t that special to begin with this season. RIP.

Hi, I’m Mr. Faded Glory. You might remember me as the guy who champions Scrubs nearly all the time, even sometimes anointing it my favorite sitcom of all time.

You might also remember that I’m a Newsradio savant, and fairly certain Newsradio is the mother of all current situational, one-camera, funny comedy shows — Arrested Development, both Offices, Scrubs, 30 Rock.

Well, tonight, Scrubs sunk to its lowest. Not the actual episode, which was quite good. But a joke.

About halfway through the episode, Scrubs, ahem, borrowed a scene from a standout episode of Newsradio (Who’s the Boss, Part I). Or at least borrowed.

You know, the Newsradio in which former bossDave and current bossLisa are tired of dealing with Bill, and at the end, exasperated, they flip a coin to see who’s boss of the office. The coin lands on its side. Dave and Lisa blow on the coin, attempting to knock it over.

Tonight, on Scrubs, JD and Kim flipped a coin to determine the future of their baby. The coin lands on its side. JD comments, “You don’t see that often.” Then, of course, the two blow on the coin.

If it was an homage, it’s (1) too obscure, and (2) a little too close for comfort. If it was taken, it’s embarrassing. Or at least kind of pathetic.

Of course, the possibility remains that it was all sheer coincidence. And the possibility remains that I’m an idiot.

Hmm. Gotta go.

Anyway, it happened. Didn’t it?

It’s been exactly three weeks, but the first concert in which I ever wore earplugs was Nov. 16, the return of Alice In Chains to the Cotillion Ballroom in Wichita.

I bring up the earplugs not only because the show was outstanding, and I didn’t even pay for it in head pain for a subsequent four days, but because it’s an example of my burgeoning maturity. And, by the same token, Alice In Chains has matured as well.
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