Mister Faded Glory | www.misterfadedglory.com

It’s official. Will the Cubs win the World Series in 2006? Hmmm? Mabry they will. Heck, it’s not a Mabry, it’s a probabry.

Yeah, I know. Cut, paste, frame that line. That’s gold. (By the way – in any future Cub reports from moi? It’s John Probabry.)

And that may actually be the most enjoyment I get out of the most recent Cubs news — that the Baby Bears have inked erstwhile utilityman and supposed-patient-batter John Mabry to shore up the bench.

Now, you can read a spate of Cubs opinions everywhere, as per se. Some think this relegates Macias to a non-tender (Well, duh) … Others think this spells doom for the full-time play of poor Matt Murton. Some of us hope Dusty isn’t that stupid … Uh …

Still, with the hot stove league in full swing, the Cubs have now overpaid for two 30-plus middle relievers, overpaid for a terrible utility shortstop who may or may not be Dusty’s son, signed Glendon Rusch (meh.) and overpaid (well, paid) for John Probabry to sit on the bench or take at-bats away from Murton.

Yes, I realize there’s still a lot of work to be done, so I shouldn’t be discouraged by middling signings. Perhaps they indicate some sort of idea.

Rumors are flying everywhere — from Juan Pierre to Alfonso Soriano to Kevin Mench to Austin Kearns to Milton Bradley (oh, please!) to Rafael Furcal to anyone everywhere. And, to wit, I wasn’t wholly sold on Rafael Furcal as a prospect early on — but if the Cubs feel he’s necessary, then they should go get him. Do something. Something different.

I would prefer Brian Giles, (Good Lord, Toronto? WTF?!!) but decisions have to be made. We can’t piecemeal just try and secure everyone with a lowball offer, and in the process wind up with King Jeromy or Jose Macias. And this appeared to happen to some extent throughout the last few years, and notably, has happened much too often in the Cubs’ existence. The Cubs have four keystones — Aramis, Lee, Prior, Carlos — but that won’t be enough, and they can’t assume a half-assed supporting cast will fill in the gaps. They need more, and they need to consciously develop some sort of plan (I.E. Bullpen, leadoff man, corner OFs) and attack that plan (Overpay, find a no. 1 target, seek creative trades.) Are they doing this? Well, we’ll see.

Depending on who you believe, Furcal could be imminent. And he’d probably be good. He doesn’t solve the outfield issues — however, there are several bats out there who could. Do I want Juan Pierre? No. Would I take him? Sure. Kenny Lofton? I’ve long been a fan of signing him while Pie gets ready — at least he doesn’t give at-bats or outs away, and with — ahem – no Carlos Beltran or (sigh) Good Corey, he would be a plus.

However, Milton Bradley, as you all know, comes with my highest recommendation. But I don’t think overspending a little for Brian Giles would be a bad idea — for crying out loud, we signed Moises Alou five years ago and he was probably 46. I can handle a 3-year deal for Giles. Three years for a proven vet before his skills slip (Sheffield) is better than 7 for someone who may not weather the trials and tribulations of a team. (Giambi.) The Yanks have figured this out. Why not us?

Anyway, here’s my final pipe dream. Even though it’s uttered with a little bitterness — I know the Cubs paid Sosa last year, but where was this apparent diarrhea of the checkbook, inking these middling relievers and Dusty’s pet Neifi — where was this willingness to toss out cash when Carlos Beltran came to town last year? I mean, we didn’t even get close — and Sosa served as a viable excuse. I just ragged on seven-year deals, above, but man, here we are, without a CF, with few desirable candidates — and wouldn’t Carlos have fit perfectly in our park?

Hindsight is 20/20, as usual, but here’s what I’d like to see….

SS Furcal
CF Bradley
1B Lee
3B Ramirez
RF Giles
LF Murton
2B Cedeno/Walker (I assume one gets traded no matter what)
C Barrett
Ps: Z, Prior, Wood, Rusch, Maddux
BP: Williamson, Howry, Eyre, Wuertz, Ohman, Novoa, Dempster.

I mean, you might as well push for Furcal, Giles, and Bradley, right? Hell, I could even handle Pierre. Hell, even if Kevin Mench or Austin Kearns are supposed quarries of the Cubs — I could even handle them. Look, we need an overhaul. Not just a fix. You cannot expect different results with the same tactics.

This is a plea, Trib. Co. — just don’t half-ass this whole thing — if we’re going to overpay for everyone, let’s get all we can. Because this is what I’m afraid of:

SS Perez
CF P. Wilson
2B Walker
1B Lee
3B Aramis
C Barrett
RF Jacques Jones
LF Mabry

Laugh now. At least it — so far — appears the Cubs may have a semblance of a plan — it’s unfortunate they couldn’t figure that out when deciding whether or not to pursue Beltran in 2004. Time will tell, I suppose. Mabry I’ll even hold my breath.